Have you ever been eating with somebody & then they taste something disgusting and immediately offer it to you to share in the experience? “YUK! Here, taste this!” I have never understood that exchange.

I also have never understood why so many folks claim to despise negative stereotypical images fed to us, but continue to support them.

I believe Melvin Van Peebles was the one that once said Hollywood has an Achilles wallet: if it makes money no matter what it is they will make it. So it could be said that Hollywood and televison are artistically/politically/morally neutral – they couldn’t care less if it’s a movie about Madea or Mumia as long as it makes money. Examples range from corporate support and wide distribution of Michael Moore’s antiestablishment documentaries, to the Kwanzaa cups at McDonald’s. It could be further said that the responsibility lies with the audience then, to make quality decisions that in turn effect the quality and content of the material. But it seems to me that every time there is an award show on BET or a racist misogynistic reality show or a poorly written melodramatic farce celebrating contemporary coonery, folks FLOCK to it in unprecedented numbers.

Some claim intellectual curiousity, some say they can’t comment unless they see it, some just love it as a guilty pleasure – all of which are fine. My issue comes with the fact that if you put money into supporting these projects then they will continue to make them – even bigger and more frequently. My greater issue comes with the fact that we collectively as audience members don’t find and support the alternatives with the same amount of enthusiasm. We don’t search out and support and vote with our dollars for the films, shows, movies and art that enhance and cleberate our mythology.

Boycotting beef for its unhealthy practices has forced supermakets to carry healthier grades of meat; it is because of people’s knowledge of pesticides and their action against buying those things that we have the word organic plastered on everything. Our money is our vote. Enough people did not buy the crappy stuff and voted with their dollars for the more expensive, more difficult to find, healthier alternatives – and the market changed to adapt for that. Healthier options are now more accessible, less expensive, and companies are falling all over themselves to offer them.

The current talk of the town is the new Tyler Perry adaptation of Ntozake Shange’s “For Colored Girls…” There is a lot of dissenting opinion over whether he should have been the one to handle such sensitive and culturally important material, and critics are already panning the result. But even among those who claim to not like the idea are many who are willing to contribute toward the success of its opening night. I can’t count how many folk – most of whom could never stand a Tyler Perry flick – are organizing viewing parties and screening trips.

To sum up the questions this calls to mind for me:

Why do we support things that we proclaim not to like? Do we just like to hate? Are we a hater nation? A group folks who rather than taking the time to find the things that serve our soul, would rather eat what’s offered to us no matter how bad because the temporary moment of collective hate gives us a sense of unity, inclusion and power?

I use the term ‘hate’ with some trepidation b/c i feel like the term has its own issues. Too often we claim ‘hate’ for honest, constructive criticism — or hold back criticism for fear of being labeled a hater. But if we stigmatize all criticism as hate, what does that do to our ability to hold our cultural output to a higher standard? Are we doomed instead to accept without feedback whatever drivel is produced in our name?

Do we not realize that these films, songs, and images travel around the world, and are projected forward in time? They serve as our representation in places we may never go personally.

I feel like we are commenting on how sad the fire burning down our house is instead of trying to put the flames out.

We have the advantage of coming from a technological time of incredible diversity. Between TV, movies, cable, and the internet we have more choice in entertainment than previous generations could have imagined. Today’s adults also have the advantage of spanning eras – we may look at violent video games in a different way, for example, because we were rasied on pin ball machines and Pac Man. What we fail to realize is that right now is the oldschool for someone else. What kind of impact are we having on the future if we dont make diversity available to the future tastemakers of society?

The history of race in hollywood is far beyond the scope of what i want to talk about here, but i’ll just say that race has been wound up in the growth of the genre since its invention. Film has not made a growth spurt or technological innovation without a significant statement on its perception of people of color.

1st feature length movie: the birth of a nation
first ‘talkie’: the jazz singer
first color film: gone with the wind
one of the first films shot digitally: starwars phantom menace (need i remind you of jar jar binks, the ridiculous ‘asian’ stereotype characters which opened the movie, or the ‘jewish’ mosquito character?)
honorable mention as a large advance in special effects: king kong (a movie i feel like they remake every 5 minutes)

but no longer can we completely point the finger at a Hollywood system that won’t let us in, if we are the ones behind the camera and more importantly the ones supporting the exact type of product we wish to change. one of the most important parts of any performance is the audience. if we are an audience that does not seek out and celebrate the best, we can’t expect the best.

I will not belittle Tyler Perry as i feel he is NOT the problem. The problem as I see it is diversity/choice. The problem is distribution and access. The problem is that there never seem to be any more than 4 actors of color in theatres at any one time – usually in a comedy and usually not the lead. The problem is that despite the technology available to us, we do not have as much choice and variety as we may think. The problem is, i have a new favorite film I’m going to recommend at the end of this piece, and could only find one possible place for you to see it.

Name 2 asian american leads in a film this year or in the past 5 that wasnt a comedy
Name 1 lead actress of african decnst in a dramatic film in the past ten
Name a “Quirky” indie film that stars an majority Latino cast
Name a film with a Middle Eastern character who is not the villain.
Name a film with a gay lead character where their sexuality was not the central issue of the story.
Name a special effects movie or science fiction movie with major cast members of color.
Name a movie where the lead black male had power that he doesn’t give away to a white character.

I don’t claim to have the answers. I’m trying my best, with my humble store and film company but i’m only one person with one vote and one voice. We all have to work at this if we want change. Entertainment has never been JUST entertainment for us. Throughout our history, entertainment has been a tool/instrument of revolution, and a barometer of change. Don’t negate the power of social media and the internet as one of these tools. Our ancestors in this country did a lot more with a lot less.

Seek the alternative. Find it, support it, spread the word about it. I just watched a Brazilian film from 2009 called Besouro – about a legendary capoiera player in 1920s Bahia, Brazil. I cannot express what a life-changing film this was for me, but i intend to try in a future post. In the meantime, here is the link the the trailer. You can purchase the DVD on amazon.com – PLEASE do so, then hold a screening party.

Support good film.

——————-

(Overheard on the 6:40 To Croton Harmon)

“She been at my house for a week my nigga…”

“A week?”

“Yeah, she been there since I had the cable cut off. I’m about to turn that shit back on though. Tired of that bitch being in my house…”

(5 minutes later…)

“Told you, my nigga, ignore that shit. Act like that phone ain’t even ring. When she say, ‘Why you ain’t call me?’ just tell her ‘I’m callin’ you now, right?’ And if she keep up with it, or say some shit you can’t come back from, hang up. Her insecurity will be eatin’ at her my nigga.”

(3 minutes later…)

“…yeah, I’ll throw you some bread to get ya nails done, but you need to be hiding them toes. Shits is mad long like fingers. She can pick shit up with them, for real my nigga. I told her, you don’t need them done. You need to cover them shits up.”

(3 minutes after that…)

“I go to _______ house yo. She got her own crib. Whenever I need to get off the streets, I chill there.”

“She work?”

“Fuck no she don’t work. Her kids is dumb, kna mean, so she get a FAT check. Her fridge always stay stocked my nigga.”

Now before I go on with this, I need to let you guys know that I’ve had a pretty bad fucking day at this point. Had I not had a pretty bad fucking day, I may have found some of this never ending spew of misogyny sorta funny. Hysterical actually. Like…

Who ARE these worthless women that these dudes are talking to? And who are these dudes?
Are they Don Draper or some shit?

So I peeked over.

Wow.

Du-rag. Long dingy tee shirt. Plaid shorts from ten years ago. Dirty sneakers. Scruffy. Need a shower and a shave bad and yet…I had the feeling that he was telling the truth.

Those women really do let him treat them that way.

*Phone ring*

The other one checked his phone and winced a little before answering.

(Sweet as pie…) “Whats up Ma? I ain’t heard from you in a minute. What’s good with you?…. Nothing. On the Metro-North. What you been doing with your fine self? ….. oh word? … nah, I’m sayin’, I called you a few times…. you ain’t answer. Must be something wrong with the phone…you on AT&T?”

….WE INTERRUPT THIS EARHUSTLE FOR A TEST FROM THE EMERGENCY “THAT NEGRO IS SO FULL OF SHIT” BROADCAST SYSTEM. THIS IS ONLY A TEST…

I didn’t even realize I was glaring at dude like a kid who’d rolled in the dirt in his Easter suit. He realized it though.
Meant to tell him that look wasn’t for him…he just reminded me of a big ol’ attitude that I hadn’t quite gotten over about this one time… “AT&T”’s service was SO BAD that, apparently…you can totally miss ten calls.

Yeah. Ten. (heavy sigh)

Anyway…

(Two days earlier…)

“…So I told him, you wanna be fat, then you’re going to date fat gay guys. If you want the hot, attractive gay guys, you have to be hot and attractive. Get your lazy ass to the gym.”

I already knew this. It’s an accepted fact amongst gay men. I mean, the other night, I was in a room full of hot gay men, all of which who were either 40 or close to it. They all looked 31… one of them could probably pass for a hard 29.

“So why don’t straight men look like this?” I asked. “Is it just because women let them get away with that getting sloppy shit?”

“Unfortunately, it’s always been skewed towards security for women. Finances. He makes more, he dictates what’s comfortable to him. He’s the husband you’re afraid will walk out and leave you with the kids. There are plenty of women out there who’ll take him if you don’t want him. The playing field is different. And if he wants to sit around and become sloppy and lazy, he will do that. That’s not the case with gay men. We’re both men. We both make money. We’re both independent. If you leave, there’s a whole club full of younger, cuter, hotter. But to keep yourself competitive, you need to keep yourself up. Most men are assholes that way. Like attracts like.”

(Anyway…back Assholes #1 & #2. When we last left off, Asshole #2 was talking to some chick and …)

“You know what… I know you ain’t just call me to talk all this shit? I’mma hit you back.
Nah…I’mma hit you back.” He looked at plaid shorts.

“That’s how you handle these bitches, my nigga.” he said, as if this was the gospel.

Now, I could handle this two ways. 1. We, as women, are fucked if this is the norm or even the subconscious of the male mind or 2. These guys are exclusive assholes and this behavior only applies to them.

Right. Well…

I’m a big believer in the law of attraction, and that particular day, I’d been attracting all sorts of nasty, vile people to me, basically because I was in a nasty, vile mood and…well… misery loves company. So it didn’t really surprise me that I was sitting next to these assholes.
What surprised me was, the first thing I thought about was “those poor girls”.

Then, I thought about it some more. Wait a minute. In order to attract THIS type of dude… you can’t be the nicest person on Earth. I mean, if the law is true, these chicks were probably pretty grimy too.

And if that law is right, then gay men stay hot, strictly because they’re giving off that swagger. That “hot gay dude swagger” and more flock to the circle.

Like being a popular crowd of kids, (who are secretly insecure but hide all that shit with clothes and self importance), who is gonna flock together? More of the same.

Now if this is all true, this got me to thinking… exactly WHAT the hell am I attracting?

Exactly what I asked for…OR… was I attracting what I WAS?

The Law Of Attraction works like this. Even if you don’t want something…if you ask for it, you got it coming to you.

So…if you say “I don’t want attention from unavailable dudes.” Your phone will ring off the hook with married guys. (Trust me on this.)

Or if you say, “I don’t want to seem like a pain in the ass…” You get the point.

So if on that particular day… hell… in the past ten years, I’d been attracting assholes with swagger…did I actually ASK for them?

And the answer was… yes. I completely fucking asked for them.

I’d say things like, “He’s a great guy, but I’d walk all over him. He needs to be a little bit of an asshole. I NEED A MAN WHO WILL FIGHT BACK AND KEEP ME ON MY TOES..”

Oh I got that all right. Over and over and… even when I took a break from dudes, once I returned to dating.. again with the Asshole Swagger. I couldn’t shake it.

I mean, to the point where they actually SAY they’re Assholes. I mean, OUTLOUD.
And I thought that was… cute?

Then I began to have that Kaiser Soze moment from “The Usual Suspects”.

I started hearing the voices of dudes I’d dated floating in my head…

“I’m an asshole…I’ll fully admit that.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time somebody called me an asshole…”

“Women tend to think I’m an asshole…”

“I’m a nice guy with a little bit of asshole…”

Wholly. Fucking. Shit.

This blew me away to the point of me having to leave my apartment before I drove myself crazy…so; I put on some sneakers and ran it out.

Ran to my favorite spot, sat on my favorite bench, got really quiet and did what my Mother taught me to do.

“Snuffy, if you don’t like something…change it. Stop complaining about it. Period. Point blank. End of conversation.”

So I stayed there until I changed the frequency. In a form of a prayer…something like this…

“So, the assholes were fun, but I’m done with that now. I’d like something in a size… fun and respectful. Inclusive, where we share the same worlds, have fun together and I’m not always “on my toes”. I’m tired of being “on my toes”. I want to relax. Keep the assholes away please. They were fun in my 20’s (were they really?) But I’d like a good dude now. I won’t walk all over him, because I’d respect him too much for that, which means, I am pledging not to be an asshole myself. Thanks.”

Figure it out asshole.

Sat there till it took hold, till I allowed this in and made it a belief (like I did the “asshole swagger” thing), and then came home.

First things first, I thanked my FB friends for telling me not to give up, (even if they had no idea what I was talking about)… then took notice of something… odd.

Two of the assholes quoted above LEFT FACEBOOK. Or at least defriended me.
I mean, gone. Poof. They were there yesterday. Today? Not so much.

Five plutonic “good dudes” contacted me to make sure I was good. Not in a “lets go out on this date..” vibe, but genuinely good dudes . Whose wives I know or who are old friends or … whatever. The point is…GOOD DUDES just started…showing up.

And just like that… everything changed.

……………………………………………………

“We can go eat at my house my nigga. She still there, I’ll tell her to cook before she break out.”

“Nah. I’m going to roll this blunt and then bounce my dude. I gotta go check on this chick yo. She salty.”

“Man …I told you. You too soft. Fuck these bitches.”

“Nah…this one’s good. I’mma get up with you tomorrow…”

And with that, he gave his boy a pound, looked at me and exited at Marble Hill.

Wow. There’s hope.

(Sixty seconds later…)

“What’s up Ma…”

“NOT A FUCKING CHANCE IN HELL.”

..and I promptly exited at Spuyten Duyvil.

————
Nyree Emory is co-host of talk radio show Chocolate Cake Radio – where actual black women talk about sex, love, relationships, and other vital concerns. don’t believe the hype! listen to the real cake. http://www.facebook.com/choccakeradio

b/c that’s what i do, instead of blogging as often as i should. I tweet.
anyway, I wondered why so-called ‘news’ organizations were not treating the former as a terrorist attack, and why we were still hearing about tiger woods at all.

in my string of tweets, i mentioned racism as marketing, and one of my twitter folks asked for clarification. I doubted I could explain what I meant in 140 characters or less, so I wrote this post. enjoy.

———————-
The mark of a great marketing campaign is when the idea or slogan transcends the product. it attaches to the cultural consciousness, and when attached to the product, makes the product greater.

for instance, nike’s campaign, “Just Do It’ transcended the product, and began to be applied to everything from winning a basketball game, to graduating from college, to giving birth. it’s now a part of our cultural vocabulary. another example is the 1930s ad campaign for diamonds. prompted by a flagging demand, advertisers coined the phrase ‘a diamond is forever,’ and promoted the idea that one was simply necessary to cement an engagement. the advertisers even came up with an arbitrary ‘2 months salary’ rule. prior to that campaign, diamonds were NOT traditionally associated with marriage or engagement. but the concept has become so entrenched in our culture most of us have no idea it originated as marketing.

racism as we know it in the new world, was also implemented as a marketing ploy. the goal of this campaign was to devalue human beings to the status of chattel. this had to be accomplished in order for other human beings to be able to kidnap, buy, sell, torture, maim, rape, kill, and work them to death, while maintaining a sense of their moral correctness.

The product was slavery. a free work force. you couldn’t have a free work force if everyone was catching feelings every time someone dropped dead from exhaustion, screamed for their stolen child, etc. in order to ’sell’ the idea that human beings should be treated as chattel, the marketing ploy of racism had to be employed. the message was, ‘these people are not like you and me, they are different, inferior, subhuman.’

The next step was branding. Adidas brand is represented by three stripes. Nike’s brand is represented by the swoop. When you see the swoop, you think ‘just do it.’ the ‘brand’ of inferior human being, came to be represented by darker skin. this campaign was so successful, that dark people were associated with this product almost exclusively. Conversely, light people were associated with the opposite of this product, so that even those who could not afford slaves (the vast majority) felt a sense of entitlement.

Dark skin had become a shorthand, a symbol for the campaign. the media message of racism was so successful, it transcended the initial product and became attached to the cultural consciousness, so that even when the initial product (chattel slavery) no longer existed, the marketing message was entrenched enough that it could be handily applied to dismantling reconstruction efforts, segregating bathrooms and burial plots, and instituting jim crow laws.

so, that’s that.

When we talk about American media, and racism, I can’t help but think about ‘the birth of a nation.’ the first feature-length film made in America was a 3 hour diatribe about the reprehensibility of black people and the ‘heroic’ rise of the klan. All the blacks in the film were played by white actors, and most of the racist film stereotypes that we know of were introduced for the first time in that film. this was the INTRODUCTION of a brand new and extremely powerful medium of communication, and it was used to reinforce the brand message of racism. Race riots ensued across the country when the film was shown.

Racism the marketing concept had become unmoored from its attachment of the ‘product’ of slavery, and turned into a cultural trope that could be used in any arena to generate an emotional response, to turn a profit, etc.

As the world changed, the applications have changed, but the fact that racism can still be used, for example, as a wedge issue in an election to rouse people to vote against their own self-interest out of fear, is proof of the power of the marketing message.

Compound that w/the fact that this country has been pushing this advertising for four centuries, that’s a LOT of brand recognition.

by pierre bennu
edited/big words by jamyla bennu
(lol)

- Dear you, yeah you complaining about how movies suck, music sucks? make your own. Yeah make it! it used to be hard but if you’re reading this on the internet chances are you have the tools. and clearly you have a creative mind cause you complain with such eloquence. Clearly you have a flair for fiction when you romanticize the past as if Hollywood & the music industry just started making crap in the late 90’s. Trust me the crap that exists now stands on the shoulders of a great legacy left by the crap b4 it. technology has just made it quicker and easier to make so there is a lot more of it. so get up and add YOUR crap to the mix, I dare you.

- Dear lame un imaginative DJ I love MJ and I don’t pretend to know what he thought but I would imagine that he would have wanted us to play more than just his music at a tribute to him.

- Note to self don’t bite your nails before scratching sensitive parts of your anatomy

- Dear supermarket why am I checking myself out?! WTF I don’t work here. How do you call yourself a supermarket when I’m checking myself out bagging and weighing  my own vegetables? Didn’t some one used to work here? and instead of hiring a person you now make me do it myself for free? I miss the line at the supermarket. Where you get to read the stuff you would never buy and eat the grapes and candy only to ask if they could just ring up the wrapper. Then there were those once in a life time i’ll probably never talk to you again friendly over polite conversations that you got into with strangers. I miss those and some how automated food checkout thingy it’s all your fault. I’m heading to the farmers market , they might not have a ceiling but they sell real food and have cool people.

- Note to self A notarized letter of permission signed by a handicapped person pinned to the windshield of your car does not give you permission to park in the handicapped spaces. ever.

- Dear PETA you can’t tell me that killing a mosquito on the back of your leg in mid suck isn’t satisfying

- Dear CNN Did you know that the demographic with the highest increase in HIV consistently for the past several years has been young black women?  next time you want to do a “blacks in America” show change your mind and do something about this thing that is still an epidemic, it’s called AIDS. what happened to AIDS? I have heard more about the bird flu. They say in news if it bleeds it leads. Well people still die from this illness so make this your lead. or even use it as filler next time you feel the need to cover a mans death 24 hours for 5 days strait. You’re welcome.

 Message from the Average Black Person on HuffingtonPost

dun duN DUN DUNNNNN!

its time for adventures in the back yard with Pierre Bennu!

budbudBUDbudBUDbudabbuda

…the sound of the eco friendly electric hedge clipper cutting hedges with NO gas or carbon…hooray environment!

budbudBUDbudBUDbudabbudaaZIZIZPHHHHZIT!!

…the sound of the eco friendly hedge clipper cutting its own wire & a tiny explosion

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!

…the sound of all the uncut hedges & all the birds & insects who saw me catch that “L”

@#$&!!

…the sound of me cursing the birds and bushes laughing at me & swearing revenge

tap tap tap tap

…the sound of me on craigs list seeing if any one wants a double dutch rope that used to be a very long electric cord

dun duN DUN DUNNNNN!

…this concludes this episode of “Adventures in the back yard with Pierre Bennu…brought to you in part by ‘eco stuff sometimes sucks’ & ’sometimes city boys need to just hire someone to do their yard’

- dear John Legend, I would like to bring to your attention that the word “love” doesn’t have a “W” after  the “O” I ask that next album you correct this error in your annunciation. Remember its LOVE not LOW-VE   thank you
- dear seagulls in the parking lot of the supermarket, I think that it’s gross that you eat chicken and I some how think that makes you sell outs.  know thy self.
- Note to self: invent an exercise or an exercise device for men that gets rid of the folds in the back of the head. Sell for 19.99, It needs nifty commercial like…do you have a pack of franks on the back of your head? Does your barber have to hold up flaps to cut your dome? When you stand sideways do you have two profiles? Well no longer with   “folds be gone”
- dear guy in Lexus car trying to cut me off, The knowledge that you don’t posses about me is that I really don’t care if your car scratches my car. But I think if your car gets scratched your little feelings will be hurt. Trust me i’ll brag about it, i’ll show my friends like “wow, look guys, see that scratch, a Lexus did that” In some circles that actually makes me more cool. Now, I’m not going to make assumptions that just cause you have that big expensive car that you’re a jerk or that you are compensating for a lack of lap time as a child, I will NOT do that! That is beneath me and neither will I belittle the size of your genitalia, your sexual prowess or lack thereof, or your inability to communicate or attract members of the opposite sex due to your ghoulish appearance though those poorly tinted windows. I won’t, that’s just immature so in conclusion I will not be letting you over into this lane, please wait your turn like everyone else and let’s all drive safely on the streets have a good day sir
- dear de la soul,  your 1st album (and some of your subsequent career)  saved my life & every time I get an opportunity to tell you the weird story of why you laugh it off. But it’s really true.
- Note to self: The brown pants are high waters, I repeat the brown pants are high waters
- dear horrible rapper with nerd gear on, I cant help it but some part of me is upset that you’re emulating an esthetic of a group of people that you helped denigrate and belittle. Let’s be clear for history sake. You never had a kind word or a smile for us nerds. Even the brilliant and smart ones amongst you buried your realness and masked it with a veil of practiced cool and willful ignorance. I always felt the real gangsta were those of us nerds who had to walk past you day after day with a heavy bag full of books to get into their building and do their homework. Knowing that they would not get any special treatment or recognition and were in fact social outcasts. (the rest of this rant was illegible)
- Note to self: there is no masculine way to use a straw, or eat a banana. Just let go
- Dear artists, there is no spare time. There is no such thing as a part time revolutionary.
- Note to self: no one has to get it but you.
- Dear non-knower of music, You don’t have to lie. If you don’t know about an artist that is brought up in a conversation just say you don’t know and lets move forward. But when you say stuff like “oh HE IS COOL” when the GROUP “Pink Floyd” is mentioned you make yourself look bad.
- Dear apparently homeless dude, why are you huffing and puffing about me going into the store with you to buy you some food. I assume if you’re standing out here that this would be a great place to purchase the food you said you wanted to buy with the $ you’re asking for. Also if I buy a sandwich for you and then you open the package look at it and say “you don’t eat turkey” and then don’t eat the sandwich I should by law be allowed to rob you for my lost sandwich $
- Note to self: I think the movie  “Coming to America” was the only point of pop culture reference for contemporary black royalty until the Obamas

Its late on a  Friday night at the Oyin warehouse, deep in the cut of east Baltimore. Our building sits at the crossroads of gentrification and the HOOD as popularized on tv and movies. We are literally on the other side of the tracks as a train runs directly behind our building.

I’ve been very conscious  of what music I get into my child’s rhythm and I recently realized I haven’t really listened to Gnarls Barkley’s new album. I mean I’ve played it but I really haven’t sat with it. So I make the decision that that’s the sound track to our ride home tonight. He’s up and in a particularly laughy  mood.

I put it on random. The first song was WOULD BE KILLER.

We lock the gate and drive off…  almost immediately I see the most brilliant sparkling lights in the rear view

They are coming from a very unassuming minivan

I drive on for like half a block before I realize it was me they wanted.

I pull over next to a group of disheveled abandoned row houses that has the words “Baltimore Believe” hand painted across the boarded front windows.

The people behind us get out of their car, obviously plain clothes cops.

Every black person I know knows that adrenaline rush when you hear them behind you regardless of if you’re guilty of breaking a law. The walk from the car to you is the longest walk in the world.

Do I reach over and turn off the radio

Do I sit still

Do I take the intimidating bass (of which I posses none) out of my voice

I think about Sean Bell

Rodney King

Amadou Diallo

Abner Louima

The Klan

I think about the time a cop put a gun to the back of my head.

I think about the time a cop pulled a gun on me going into the front door of my house and how I slowly had to explain that was were I lived and how slowly and deliberately I had to pull out my keys.

I think about the night I was yanked off a subway platform and  thrown in  jail for no reason

I think about the disgust of relief I felt knowing they could have charged me with anything

I think about how they can kill and not get punished

I think about the true meaning of terrorism

Terrorism takes place in the mind of the terrorized

I think about my son

I think about my wife

I think about my son

I think about my son

And for the first time ever there is no fear in my heart. None.

As a matter of fact I became a level of pissed I usually save for when I drive off.

I indignantly roll down the window. If that’s even possible with power windows.

And believe me I tried to be shook but there was no fear in my heart.

He asked mundane questions then I started to cut him off… answering questions he didn’t ask yet. I ended it with “where were you diligent officers last month when someone broke into our warehouse?” 

We exchange fake smiles he looks in the back seat and tells us to take our child home  A child who was actually laughing the entire time

The window goes back up the light changes we drive off and turn up the music WHOS GONNA SAVE MY SOUL NOW  rocks and I had to listen to two verses before either of us started to speak.  I went into what could best be described as a stand up routine for the next 3 or 4 songs. We laughed shared stories through mirror reflections driving  though empty streets like a needle in the grooves of record all the while letting the night be cosigned by the soundtrack.

And then I saw it

The song playing was NO TIME SOON

On a  pole

A street team advertising poster for what I can only assume is an album

I slowed to get a better look

And there it is in big letters: the word ‘CRACK’ and below it has a release date

That’s it.

I wanted to stop the car fall to  my knees fists in the air  and scream to the imaginary camera looking down on me from the heavens

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Who put this up?

CRACK!!?!? Really ?

Crack has a release date?

Who knew?

Some one should tell those under cover cops.

Jamyla had to talk me out of stopping the car and ripping down ever one of those posters. I listen to what she has to say then

I think of my son

I think of my son

I think of my son

Please believe if I was alone and it wasn’t 1:00 in the morning it would be a repeat of the notorious lil kim street team poster massacre  of 2000

We laugh and talk the rest of the way home.

Crying inside that ‘CRACK’ is going to be someone’s OLD SCHOOL memory of hip hop, smiling inside that so will GNARLS  BARKLEY.

As I pull up to my drive way A LITTLE BETTER  comes on. I turn it up and we just sit there. Smiling

I think I love this album

I think about my wife

I think about my son

and we try to sneak him in the house with out waking him

up .