There are many things that they don’t tell you when you have a child.
Here is a short list

- they have hair on their back
- they are super ugly (more about that in another blog)
- that “baby smell” that everyone loves so much is made up of one part mothers milk 2 parts mother’s arm pit.
- they can’t read
- they never quite catch up to their color at the tips of their ears
- the first words you whisper into your child’s ear should not be “you owe me”
- a infant can squirt pee up to 40 feet in a straight line before it starts to arc
- when they start to laugh they will be your best audience because at the end of the day if you have nothing else you can just jingle your keys.

here is a stand up routine for babies that you can use.
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“iPad” by pierre bennu
photo taken by my wife’s iPhone

(click ‘read more’ for bigger picture) [Read more]

I believe that embracing fear produces courage.

After my brother died in an accident, my mother was inconsolable. I was only 4 years old at the time, but I still understood the seismic shift in my mom’s attitude toward safety. Suddenly, everything around us was potentially dangerous. Overnight, the world had gone from a playground to a hazardous zone. [Read more]

They made me cut the cord. Let me be clear they didn’t “make me” but when a room full of women who are medical professionals hold surgical scissors in your direction and say “who wants to cut the cord” then they all look at you, you can’t NOT do that. I know its sounds weird to some people but I didn’t want to cut the chord. I’m glad I did but I really like to leave the professional work to the professionals, even the easy stuff.

If you go to a deli for a sandwich if they take the time to fry the meat up, put on the lettuce, tomatoes, onions, bread ketchup, and pickles, oils, pepper, salt and even wrap it in that deli paper and slice it for you I figure they can be the one who puts the toothpick in it.

I decided to write down my experiences really more as therapy though this transition. I know therapy and transition usually have negative connotations but I wanted to dedicate something to beauty. [Read more]

Dear folks at Guitar Hero,

First of all I want to say that me and my wife really dig your game. All the artistry, craft and fun that went into it shine through. I appreciated the behind the scenes extras… I really felt like I got a feel for the staff making it all happen. We actually bought a second controller which is a bit of a big deal for us as we are not “gamers” in the conventional sense.

As a generally happy customer I just wanted to inquire about what I felt was a lack of black characters and songs with black folks behind the strings. [Read more]

An Uptown Cultural Landmark Explores New Dimensions in Sound

It would seem that a sensory environment drenched in sampled blackness is once again rewiring the aesthetic sensibilities of the general populace. Even the spin-talk of government officials makes use of rhythm, rhyme and meter in ways directly borrowed from black vernacular as filtered through commercialized hip-hop music (small ‘h’ intentional). Catch phrases like ‘24/7’ now grace tv spots for Citibank. Diagonal lines mimic spray-can scrawl in animated advertisements for cartoons and clothing. If the Smithsonian Institution’s recent inauguration of its Hip-Hop collection and the past decade’s experience of Hip-Hop as a growth industry within academia offer any indication, perhaps it is this: the time has come to recognize Hip-Hop as a culture whose apex during our era has transformed nearly every arena of public discourse, just as black cultural developments have done in every epoch of our history. [Read more]

From disturbing observations to oven mitt eulogies, here are the ramblings and ruminations of a writer of color as she examines the social nuances of everyday life within - and without - big city limits.

Now Playing: Lemme Ghetta
By Hamida Kinge
5-23-06

“Won Ton Phooeyyyyy” the young man says in a barely-audible tone, with an accent lifted straight out a vintage Kung-Fu flick. It’s the kind of thing he might say louder if in the presence of his friends, but right now he seems to be no more than thinking aloud, as if subconsciously singing a familiar jingle.

As he enters the Chinese take-out joint, the man — 20-something with red-brown skin and a long, sandy-colored beard — is dressed de rigeur for the
part: army fatigue jacket, white tee and shin-length, wide-legged jeans accented by construction Tims.

He heads for the foggy, plexiglass window and upon reaching it, says wryly to the cashier, “Lemme  Ghetta Philly Blunt.” [Read more]

One of the saddest things in the news now (and believe me it’s hard to pick with all the chaos going on in this Babylon) would have to be the ripple affect of the Danish ignorance in publishing offense Islamic cartoons. Now, I like Spongebob as much as the next kid but this is getting to be too much.

Recently, while listening to NPR, I heard some UC Irvine New Republican Group members defending their decision to republish the offensive Islamic cartoons by saying “we need to talk about the issue and have discourse about it.” Hold up, homey. What is with this desire in America for us to have “discourse” over everything? One time, when I was home alone as a latch key kid, I was curious and put my tongue in the freezer to see what would happen. You probably know the rest of the story—that shit hurt and I was so happy I was alone so that I could spend the rest of my embarrassed day watching “Green Acres” nursing a sore tongue without some “you dummy” comments from anyone other than myself. Yes, I was the fool in “A Christmas Story” who accepts the double dog dare and puts my tongue on a freezing surface. Had I read a book about the affects of tongues on freezing cold surfaces, I wouldn’t have done it. Somewhere, there existed evidence that I didn’t need to accept my own double dog dare and be in pain for a few days. Do the Danish have Google? Is there a Masjid there? How about a Quran? [Read more]

1. there are boxes everywhere. i mean, EVERYWHERE. who would have thunk that we had this much crap? it is all over the place. we are in need of major storage for books, VHS movies, DVDs, socks. but the good feeling is, it’s OUR HOUSE!! we could pave the floors in books, VHS movies, DVDs and socks and who could tell us shit? nobody. nobody could tell us shit, that’s who.

(maniacal laughter, insert here)

2. but still, inside my own need for equilibrium and daily beauty, there exists a situation where living on a carpet of accumulated crap is not acceptable. neither is it ok for said stuff to teeter at us from where it stands, stacked up against the wall in boxes we have yet to unpack because we have visions of the wall being a different color (that we have yet to choose) behind the bookshelves we have yet to design and build with tools we have yet to own and lumber we have yet to purchase.

i think we are going to have to suck it up and go to IKEA

but i say all that to say: aside from daily work, and catching up on the work that is backlogged from actually moving, is the daily work of reinstating order so that we can live and be creative in this new and wonderful space.

3. there is also the fact that this is the 2nd of november. i’m already 48 hrs behind when it comes to participating in NationalNovelWritingMonth, a national occasion of GROUPTHINK wherein thousands upon thousands of procrastination-prone individuals gather virtually to pretend to be writing novels, and a few thousand of them actually do so.

each november for the past, oh, say about 4 or 5 years, i have noted this passing fact with amusement, wistfulness, paranoia, dread, excitement, and wishful thinking. i use it as an occasion to pull out the various semi-conceived projects that are laid carefully in tissue-paper-lined compartments of my hard drive, blow off the dust, and leaf through their yellowed, crackling pages with fondness and pleased surprise. wow, i wrote THAT? i wish there was more of it. i’d sure like to read it.

it’s hard for me to imagine being the same person who crafted those words that i find. i know that i did, because i recognize the brainwork. but my mind has fallen out of the writing habit and that’s a problem.

NaNoWriMo is a neat idea b/c it consists of lots of [virtual] peer pressure and support and idea sharing and a place to go and whine about not having ideas or whatever; and is driven by the idea that no matter what, you should crank out a substantial amount of words every day, accumulating 50,000 by a chosen date, BECAUSE YOU CAN, DAMMIT.

but this is the thing: i am not so good with peer pressure. i am hard-wired against the grain and this becomes a problem when it comes down to certain circumstances, like following trends, joining food co-ops, popping my cherry earlier than i’m ready in a way i will come to regret, or joining mass writing movements. i have always found it difficult if not impossible to do any of it. perhaps this inability is linked to my distance from my writer-self?

*big dramatic sigh*

i really do wish that bitch would finish something though. it’d probably be good.

HOW TO BE A POET
BY MIKE BELIEVE

Mike Believe brings you a tongue-in-cheek guide to getting your “slam” on

BEFORE YOU START:

1. Change your name
Sorry to tell you this, but the name ya mama gave you ain’t gonna cut it. The names of gods of lesser known religions always work. Prefixes like king, queen, sista or mother will do.

Here are some ideas to get you started: Chewbakah, Allah-zilla, tofu-pork, olos nah, albino jones, kizer SEW SAY, bob Marley jr jr, omega supreme, optimus prime, black Africa, Unspoken word, the brown hornet, SO SO BLACK, NICK SAINT, almighty dreadlock head wrap king Solomon, Jesus Jackson.

2. Look the part
It’s not what you say, but how you look when you say it. Here are some fashion tips for the aspiring slam star:

- DO NOT comb your hair. EVER. Grow locks if you can - might be a good prop later on. Also, facial hair works for both male and females.
- Head wraps & wool hats… appropriate in any season. Looking hot and uncomfortable will subconsciously bend the audience in your favor.
- Wear red black and green wrist-bands. If you’re not black, red gold and green works just as well.
- Approach the mic with a well-chewed chew-stick in your mouth.
- Rock t- shirts of slain political leaders. When Che or Malcolm X are not available, Bob Marley makes a good stand in.

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