I bought a bike last week – that might not seem like a big deal but I’ve been on bike punishment for a year or so.

We used to ride everywhere, then the baby came and we had to (finally) get our licenses, as Baltimore is not as public transportation friendly as our native NY.

I had a magnetic stand that I put my old bike on, so I could work out in the basement when I couldn’t go outside. Unfortunately, I got in the habit of biking way too hard with nothing in my stomach, and one morning I blanked out, waking with the bike on top of me.

The bike was put outside to rust because somehow it was to blame.

But I’m over my grudge, and this bike compared to that one is like Knight Rider versus the pickup from Sanford & Son. The last bit of snow has melted on the lawn. I’ve been sleeping, stressing less, exercising, and eating with regularity. It’s time to take it to the next level.

It’s been a surreal week, filled with a lot of work, amazing ideas, and unfortunately, rain. All things that have contributed to me only having ridden the bike twice. But for the first time since I bought it, there was no work, very little rain, and a half hour I could spare to really test this thing out. Unfortunately that half hour occurred at midnight. But did that stop me? no.

These are the lessons I learned:

Pro – The hard riding is great cardio.
Con – My moist breath fogs my glasses.

Pro – I have a warm home to go to.
Con – My neighbors seeing me sitting outside of my house crying probably think I just got kicked out, not knowing that I’m embarrassed to come in the house earlier than my wife expected.

Pro – I finally reach a large down hill area.
Con – It has massive speed bumps.
Con – Hard narrow bike seats.

Pro – Rolling up the pant leg on the side where the chain is looks cool even if your legs are ashy.
Con – Unable to find a clean sock of my own I stuffed my foot into one of my wife’s socks with the little pompom ball in the heel, not cool!

Pro – I get to fully explore my ipod b/c you have no control of the random playlist once you start riding
Con – Previously normal music seems sinister, particularly slow jams and movie soundtracks. “You are my starship” what’s that all about?
Con – You soon discover how cool you’re not, as evidenced by some lame song you don’t remember downloading.
Con – Most new music (just kidding)

Pro – I see the neighborhood in a different light.
Con – Everyone outside at midnight seems dangerous – even lovers holding hands are suspect.
Con – I don’t possess an effective angry look. My look is less “street” more “culdesac.”

Pro – I get to take another hot shower.
Con – I HAVE to take another hot shower.
Con – my wife’s sock that I stuffed my foot into has torn and ridden up my foot, reducing it to nothing more than an ankle warmer…with a little pompom.

Pro – People you passing in their cars may learn an important lesson about exercise and alternative transportation.
Con – When someone splashes filthy rainwater on the whole left side of your body, you learn an important lesson about the value of doors on one’s vehicle.

Pro – I feel about half a foot taller