(editors’ note: in order for this story to work you must commit to the sound effects. out loud is best.)

dun duN DUN DUNNNNN!

its time for adventures in the back yard with Pierre Bennu!

budbudBUDbudBUDbudabbuda

…the sound of the eco friendly electric hedge clipper cutting hedges with NO gas or carbon…hooray environment!

budbudBUDbudBUDbudabbudaaZIZIZPHHHHZIT!!

…the sound of the eco friendly hedge clipper cutting its own wire & a tiny explosion

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!

…the sound of all the uncut hedges & all the birds & insects who saw me catch that “L”

@#$&!!

…the sound of me cursing the birds and bushes laughing at me & swearing revenge

tap tap tap tap

…the sound of me on craigs list seeing if any one wants a double dutch rope that used to be a very long electric cord

dun duN DUN DUNNNNN!

…this concludes this episode of “Adventures in the back yard with Pierre Bennu…brought to you in part by ‘eco stuff sometimes sucks’ & ’sometimes city boys need to just hire someone to do their yard’