these products are currently in development from exittheapple labs. Keep an eye out during obscure hours of the night for our upcoming infomercials – not available in stores! limited time only! three easy payments! etc.

- pull away diapers :  a convenience once enjoyed only by  professional athletes. Now take off a diaper with just one yank!
- oral shoe horn: it’s hard to take the time to wash your hands when your child just ingested something potentially fatal. end the slobbery-finger syndrome by using this device instead.
- baby censorship visor: attach it to your computer or DVD player and enjoy your violent hollywood films with ease. whenever the bloody parts come on a visor comes down that shows images of elmo!
- organic diaper garden: this compostable diaper is made of all green materials with a layer or fertilizer and seeds in it. once soiled, plant it and within a week you will see fruits and vegetables start to grow. I’m still waiting for a call back from whole foods.
- edible spray: instead of taking things out of your child’s hands and mouth you just spray edible spray on it. it makes things like lint, paper, mouse poop, coins, marbles and old Doritos perfectly healthy and edible!
– the ‘time out’ dart: comes with one straw and twelve darts with a patented nonlethal and totally organic tranquilizer that will knock your baby out for half an hour. refreshing for both baby and parent! lavender scented.
- baby head ring toupee: for those babies that lose that ring of hair around their head. for the girls we have the “inch MO pony tail” it’s a tiny hair extension for parents to put in the hair clip so that there is at least an inch mo’ more hair popping out on top of the bow than being pulled by the bow
- the rotating changing table: for those babies that like to suddenly start to twist and crawl away when being changed. This table rotates with them like a gyroscope.
- baby clothing handle: it’s a  onesie with a harness that has a handle on the back. Easy retrieval for when they’re crawling someplace dangerous. Or, going for a walk and forgot the stroller? Carry your baby like a briefcase!
- nerf steps – why gate the top and bottom when you can replace the whole staircase with soft bouncy material? Turn potential tragedy into fun for the whole family!