Candace Morgan laid her hand over her husband Theo’s hand on the stick shift as they drove along I-10. She looked over and saw him again as if for the first time. For some reason she pictured her husband today as he was 28 years ago. Four times less flesh than what sat beside her now. Yet he seemed bigger than life then. Bigger than love even. He was strong like armor. Bold like the sun that broke through the windshield and threatened to expose all the time that had been lived in this Minted 1958 Ford Thunderbird red convertible. Age ain’t really profound unless it shows. Mama, as Theo affectionately called his metal and leather bride, did show her age, but you had to look really close.

The beige leather interior still bore its passengers well but there were two cracks in the leather on the center left front edge of the back seat. They weren’t massive cuts and fortunately Mama hadn’t seen her usual visitors lately to add their sweaty salt to her wounds. While the grandkids were at camp for the summer Theo figured he would just let the cuts heal by themselves. Scars is what he called them, Mama’s little battle scars.

Candace could see those wounds now as she focused on the visor mirror to make her face up for today’s journey. She chose a happy palate from her vanity this morning. A bright red lipstick she now stroked gently over her bold pregnant lips. They were as full now as they were 28 years ago although she chose to disregard how the corners had fallen. The oldies but goodies station ringing out with the easy sunny rhythms of Day 0h, the Banana Boat Song, seemed to endorse the choice of lipstick for the morning. Candy was blithe, as she was effectively armed against Father Time. Nothing, like the right choice of music and a strategic cosmetic to at least trip up Time’s steady strides.

“Candy, I don’t why you cover them lips with that stuff,” Theo offered his impotent objection through a peripheral driver’s glance. “They just as red without the paint.”
“I’m just tryin’ to make them feel warm, honey, give ‘em some affection.”

He quickly removed his glance and raised the indicator with the hook of his pinky to switch lanes as he lifted his right arm to gently adjust the rubber edge to the rearview mirror. He snapped his head quickly to the right and made the switch into the middle lane.

“Theo” she called to him with both eyes focused ahead on her cover up. “When you gonna fix those cracks on that back seat. His silence was her answer. His silence was always her answer. After all these years she had so many questions. She lifted her chin and made that make up frown-the one that temporarily makes every woman in the world into a clown- as she opened the foundation compact and dipped the pad into the magic formula.

“Whatcha doin’ now Candy?”

“I’m makin believe we the happiest newleds in the world,” she replied.

“Why what you doin, honey?” she asked.

“Drivin’,” he replied

“Well, why don’t you just pay attention to the signs and stop askin’ me stupid questions!”

Six han’ seven han’ eight han’ bunch
Daylight come - “You didn’t put on all that stuff when we was newleds honey.”

“Sometimes you gotta make changes to get what you want,” Candy evenly replied. His mockery did make her remember though, how she had always avoided foundation or even make up period for that matter, when she was in her prime. Yep, spurned it just like these kids nowadays despise books and good music. Being clean and being seen is the maxim her girlfriends lived by. They let every pore sing its song for freedom and each fleshly acre they could morally bare was sure to be nurtured and tilled by the hard working Arizona sun.

“Didn’t I have a swimsuit on when we met honey, we were at the beach weren’t we?” Candy asked

“What beach Candace, there ain’t no goddamn beach in Arizona. We met at the pool party at Gary Blake’s. God bless his soul.”

“Gary didn’t have no pool” Candy replied

“Gary didn’t have no soul either,” Theo teased

“It was at his father’s house Candy”

“Well alright there Theo, at least you ain’t lost your memory yet, thank God somethin’s still left” she muttered as she finished laying the foundation over the worn earth covering her brow and she saved some rouge to highlight the cheekbones she could barely find amidst the faintly wrinkled field.

“What else I ain’t lost yet, honey. We ain’t gone yet is we?”

“No honey, we right here this Monday mornin’ like we been every Monday mornin’ since.

“You know honey, they make make-up for men now”

“Men don’t wear make-up,” his grip tightened on the steering wheel.

“Sure they do, why even Harry Belafonte wears make up honey”

Day oh, Day oh Daylight come. . .

“No he doesn’t honey, Little Richard wears make-up, Michael Jackson wears make-up, your son wears make-up”

Unseen she seethed beneath the foundation. “I ain’t never made no child without you Theo!”

“Well Candace, I ain’t wearing no make-up, if that’s what you’re getting at and that’s that!

“I don’t want you to wear make up fool, I’m just makin’ conversation.”

Well, what ain’t broke ain’t worth fixin’, that’s all I’m saying!” he howled a little flustered.

“Just like the cracks in the backs seat” she replied evenly

“Just - like - the – cracks - in - the - back -seat,” he uttered through clenched teeth as he held the steering wheel even tighter now looking directly at her and back at the road after each word.

“Just like this marriage, huh” Candace muttered almost inaudibly

He held his breath and his rage blistered under the pressure.

“What did you say?”

She answered him with her silence, as she reached up to shut the visor mirror and turned her head away from him to watch the road go by in a blur.

“What did you say, woman?”

Come Mister tally man tally me banana. . .

Some ideas, she learned long ago, were better left at home to fantasize and to dance alone.

Her silence now boiled him over, and the traffic thickened around them like cholesterol, as they reached the 6th Avenue exit. “Please hurry, Theo, I’m late for my class now,” she pleaded. Theo lifted his chin, looked in the rearview mirror and glanced over to the right to make sure the way was clear as he eased into the exit lane. All he felt now was rage. His entire head constricted from the throat up. His teeth ground like bad brakes and his nostrils stretched from east to west to try and make room for the animal inside. The steering wheel held him now. He adored this woman. But even love felt like rage now. He hated himself for raising his voice at her and his heart flooded with contempt and fury and it hurt like hell.

She saw the yellow light winking its admonition.

“Theo slow down for God’s sake,” she uttered as her right hand grabbed the door handle and her left reflexed against the dashboard.

“Dammit, just let me drive Candy, he thought to retort, as a grievous pain pounded through his left shoulder. He saw the light now too, it was so white, so pure, so inviting.

She looked over to him and saw that his head had fallen and his right hand clenched his shoulder. With all the strength he had left he turned his heavy head and blueing lips toward her as a supplication. His silence was a cry for help. To her he looked so angry, so defiant. “Theo answer me goddamn it, what are you doing, slow down, “she begged. “Slow down!

It didn’t matter what color the light was now they were on top of it. They had passed through its admonition and she twisted back to her right to see their judgement coming.

He saw her now, as if for the first time and found that there was so much he wanted to say. She wrenched back and threw herself against him for salvation. But judgement had now come.

Daylight come…

“Theo!,” she shrieked.

And I wanna go home.

But this time his silence was deadly.